If you have been keeping up with the blogs you will know Baby bear is heading to ‘big boy’ school September. So this week Baby bear officially finished nursery which is strange to say, for 2 reasons mainly. 1, we decided to keep him at home with us when Boris opened schools again. And 2, he is my baby, how is he 4 and heading to school?

We had to go into his nursery to pick up his learning journal, goody bag, wellies and all the things. We also used that time to take some thank-you gifts in for the girls in his room that looked after him while he was there. It was a very strange experience as we had masks and its the first time we had seen all the arrows, sanitiser and precautions they had put in place. Either way, Baby bear was so happy to see all his teachers again and loved telling them everything he has been up to over the last few months. I wasn’t expecting it but we had a few tears when our time was up (we had 10-minute time slots) and he had to say bye without cuddles and of course knowing he won’t be seeing them again.

finished nursery

Since sharing my thought and feeling in my last post on this I have fallen into abit of a dark hole about this all. I honestly think a huge reason for this is everything going on fertility wise at the moment (I’m posting an update next on everything) and Baby bear leaving nursery without having a set in stone plan for September. We have received a ‘rough’ schedule breakdown for September but nothing is set in stone yet as no one knows what the COVID-19 situation will be by then.

I think every teacher is doing this now but as Baby bear hasn’t been able to go through transitioning as he should have, we are hopefully having a zoom meeting with his teacher. This makes me sad, he has finished nursery and is starting school while missing out on all the fun things he should have got to do. He deals with change really well and has never been a child who struggles in new/different situations but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried he won’t take this step in his life as smooth as he normally does. It’s a big jump going from being at home with me most of the week to going to schools for longer days and 5 days out of the 7 (or atleast I think it is). I didn’t worry this much when he started nursery as he was used to the building because I took him there for the children’s centre groups but he has never been in the school before.

I know I’m overthinking, worrying and getting down about all of this but I can’t help but feel like we have missed out on a huge part of this milestone. And I can’t help but feel like what if we don’t have another baby and this is our only chance to do this with our children but because of COVID-19 we are missing out. Which I completely understand why things are the way they are, and I’m completely on board with it all (we are a high-risk family so we have been following all the guidelines and being very safe) it’s just hard to not grieve what should have been a little. However, I am looking forward to going school uniform shopping for him and getting him all ready in that sense. Even if finding places that do school uniform in size 2-3 years is a little harder.

If your little ones or any friends or family have little ones finished nursery and headed to big school September please message me with some reassurance that I’m not the only mumma struggling with all of this. And if your not please send me some advice on how to feeling better about my baby growing up.