Before I begin, I just want to say that celebrating a new baby is always something to be done. I also don’t want anyone in our personal life who has had a baby recently to feel sorry for us or guilty for celebrating their little ones. I just want to share a little insight into celebrating a baby while going through infertility so if you are in the same position as us you know your not alone and it’s okay to see the way your feeling.
Infertility is hard at the best of times but when someone around you announces they are pregnant or given birth it hurts even more. The first thing you feel when you hear the news is heartbreak (well at least for me and others I have spoken to). I hate to say it, I feel so guilty every time but the green-eyed monster comes out a little and all I can think is ‘Why is it not me?’ ‘When is it my turn?’. It doesn’t last long before the excitement for them kicks in, but I’d be lying if I said news of a new baby doesn’t break my heart every time. I honestly believe this is a normal reaction and there’s nothing wrong with feeling heartbroken as long as you can still be happy for the other person.
I have found that buying the baby an outfit/gift helps me mentally process everything. It sounds a little silly but it’s something that helps me, it’s nothing ever huge but it’s something. I don’t know why this helps me but I find looking at baby clothes and items a bit like a release for me. I think it helps me keep reminding me that at the end of all this it could be my turn if I just don’t give up.
Being honest about how you feel to the people around you is important as well. I think it is important that you don’t bottle up your feelings up and you share how your feeling so the people around you can support you while also celebrating a new baby in your family/friend circle. I also think it is important to not remove yourself from situations that would put you in the same place as the baby and their family. I know it hurts and sucks but once you’ve done it once it helps make it easier and I promise you won’t regret taking the plunge.
Let the family know you are happy for their new arrival. This sounds strange but I would put money on them feeling sorry and sad for you even in their happiness. They probably don’t know what to say you to or want to hurt you with their news
I’m not sure else to say really other than its hard and painful to celebrate a new baby but it is worth it. You may think you cant get through the pain but I promise you can and it will get easier. Just keep your chin up and pushing through. I’m here for you if you ever need a chat/rant. We have this x