Surely I’m not the only mumma with a 2-year-old toddler who loves to test them? Normally its nothing I can handle but today – today was defiantly one for the books. Its not very often Baby bear tests me and my parenting abilities to the extent of today. Needless to say I was ready to be tagged out by the time Daddy bear got home. He didn’t even make it through the door before I tagged him in.

There’s no reason to this post just want to have a vent before I go and sit in a corner to rock myself back to sanity. Yes its been that bad. Its not even funny.

So we start off the day like any other really, he comes into our room to wake us up, went downstairs for breakfast… Normal stuff really. Well normal until around 10 am when someone swopped my child out for the devil. Then it all went down hill from there.

To start off while I was trying to do the ironing he thought it would be a great game to keep putting his hands on the ironing board near the iron. Then he got bored of that game so moved on to throwing the clothes out the basket onto the floor and rolling in them. That didn’t last long though, he run out of clothes quite quickly so after I had picked up all my clean washing and put it back. Baby bear decided the best game ever was to kneel under the ironing board and pull the clothes off it and cuddle then while I was trying to iron them.

Needless to say these were all such great games and so helpful in the ironing process. I know his so helpful I don’t know how I got so lucky.

The helpfulness didn’t just stop there… Oh no, he continued to be even more helpful. I know so lucky…

Our friends then arrived for lunch and catch-up and silly me thought the helpfulness would stop. Well, spoiler alert… it didn’t. In fact, Baby bear kicked it up a step. (I can hear you laughing – it’s not funny).

After a couple of hours of just normal toddler attitude, backchat and boundary pushing. He decided he hadn’t pushed me to my complete limit yet. He needed to up his game, I wasn’t ready to ready to sit and rock in the corner crying.

You will never guess what our next trick was… Go on guess… You will never get it. Lets put it this way, if I was home alone with him I would of broke down crying at this point. Well after I had finished gagging.

He decided to rub his own poo all over his hands, legs, and clothes. Yes, you read that right he gave himself a shit bath (I don’t know how else to describe, it was disgusting and everywhere). The only funny part to all of this situation was the fact my friend went up there to go to the toilet and found him. Her reaction when she came down to tell me what he had done. I would include a picture but let’s be real no one needs to or wants to see a shit covered child.

The only choice I had to clean him up was to put him in the bath and hose him down with the shower head. Which of course he screamed the whole time (If you know Baby bear you know he hates anything to do with washing). I also haven’t mentioned that he was wearing his brand new Adidas tracksuit Aunt K has just brought him and my washing machine is out of commission right now. Let’s hope it all comes out without staining.

You would think that would be it wouldn’t you. Like, seriously what else has this child got planned. I’m at breaking point by this time. I’m done parenting for 1 day. Done. Finished. Tag me out. However, Baby bear had other ideas.

He decided to finish the day off by spitting on my kitchen floor, refusing time out (yes, I made him have it.), climbing up on his chair and trying to play with the knifes, pulling all his books out his bookcase. His finishing act was going into my room. Climbing up my dresser. Getting hold of my lipstick. Proceeding to put it all over his face and hands. Coming downstairs ensuring he touches the walls as his comes to try and tell me he was bleeding and it wasn’t my makeup all over him.

Yep, that was the last straw. If it wasn’t for my amazing friend cleaning him up and the wall while I went upstairs to 1. assess the damage he caused and 2. to get away from him for a second to calm down I would have lost it.

Do you think all this continued when Daddy bear got home? Of course not, don’t be silly. He enjoyed making me look crazy and put me on the edge of a mental breakdown before acting like a normal child the rest of the evening for his father. Why would he cover himself in shit for his father, and spit on the floor and get into his stuff? That would just be crazy.

Needless to say, tomorrow can only be an improvement on today. Well let’s hope, for my sanity if nothing else. Hope you had a better day than mine and if you didn’t I feel your pain and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that your day is better tomorrow.

Hope you had a good laugh reading about my fabulous day. Someone needs to laugh for me because I’m close to tears today, but hopefully, this nice big glass of Gin and lemonade make it a little better.

the toddler made me do it
The toddler made me do it.