I have mentioned surgery in my last few weekly check-ins but haven’t really said what it is for. So I thought I would share what’s going on and get everything off my chest before I go in on Wednesday for the surgery. As I mentioned when I first spoke about the phone call to book my surgery date it was with our fertility clinic, I had put my name down at our last appointment early last year and if I’m being honest I had sort of forgotten about it with everything else going on in life. I know most details on the surgery however there are a few details I am unsure about and won’t know until Wednesday hopefully before I go down.

Before I go any further I also feel like I need to handle everyone’s expectations and share the reality of the outcome. So technically the surgery is to unblock my remaining tube, give my womb a full sweep for any endometriosis and check my remaining ovary is healthy. This is with the hopes of helping us fall pregnant, HOWEVER, our doctor has made us aware that looking at all my test results and surgery notes there is a very slim chance that the surgery will be successful. Basically, it was described to us that there are 2 types of the blocked fallopian tube, swollen and blocked which they can usually unblock and the other is normal and blocked which they are mostly unable to unblock. Can we guess what type I have… that’s right from my tests and notes it looks like I have a slim blocked tube. This means there is a very very slim chance they are going to be able to unblock it without causing serious injury which they will not do. My doctor has said that either way, she will sweep my womb as it will help make my periods less painful, sex less painful, and help with discomfort in general.

We have come to accept this and if anything we are hoping they can’t unblock my tube for the simple reason of we doesn’t want another pregnancy. Crazy I know as we want to grow our family but there are other ways that don’t put my life or mental health on the line. Of course there is always a chance if we did fall pregnant it would end is another miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. If I’m being honest the thought of being pregnant again both breaks my heart and scares the life out of me. I can’t go through another miscarriage and I don’t want to risk not being here for my boys so…

So you may be wondering why I said yes to the surgery as I haven’t tried other treatments for endometriosis. The answer is I can’t fully move on and close that chapter of our life until I know I’ve tried everything as little chance as there is. I’d be lying if I said the nerves weren’t starting to kick in but it will be worth it, in the end, no matter what the outcome. I will try and keep everyone updated along the way.